We all die in the end. The thing that makes a difference between us is the way we die. My friend always used to tell me that people will remember you mostly because of what you did during your life and at the same time they will remember you by the way you died. I am pretty sure she never thought that when you die would also be a pretty important aspect. My name is Tania. This isn’t my story, but I am the only one left to tell it. 

Eloise was my best friend. I’ve known her for years before she left this world. We were in the same class in high school, but in our last year someone decided to take her life. That person put a full stop at the end of the sentence and Eloise could never have closure. The way that I found out about this tragic event was actually amusing, now that I think back about it. I was coming home from my swimming practice. I was getting ready for a full tournament in Europe and a full timetable of competitions. The moment I set foot in my house, I knew something was wrong. My mom looked at me with her eyes full of water and said: ‘I am 

sorry, Tania. Eloise had an accident.’

That was all that she needed to tell me. Eloise used to talk about her death all the time, but I was never taking it seriously. She used to tell me that she is going to die because of love and that her life was going to end at a very young age. That was exactly what happened. The only thing I never took into consideration was the fact that I didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye. ‘The funeral is this Saturday.’ said my mom handing me a glass of water. So, I had three days to prepare for the moment I was going to set foot at a funeral. I’ve always known that this moment would come. It’s inevitable! But not with my best friend. Not at her funeral.

Eight-thirty in the morning and my clock started ringing. It was the day that I had to endure. The black dress that I always kept for a special event was out of my wardrobe, placed really nicely on the chair. Got myself dressed and whispered while I looked in the mirror: ‘Eloise, you better be happy up there or I should kick your damn ass.’ While I was walking towards the church I could sense her presence next to me. We did almost everything together and from this point on I knew I had to deal with everything on my own. That day was different. That day was the day she stood next to me the entire time and talked to me about everything. She talked to me about her dreams and desires. She talked to me about what she was going to do next.

‘You didn’t even say goodbye!’ I said to her as I wished to make her feel bad.

‘I know.’

‘Why did you do that? Why did you leave?’ Tears were falling down my cheeks. 

‘Sometimes, even best friends fall apart because they’re too selfish. I was selfish. It was meant for me to go away. You will be fine. I will be right here to support you and help you.’ and she left for good. She was my best friend, but I had to get used to her being gone. Maybe that was how things were meant to be. One thing is certain. Funerals are places where you experience things that you never thought of. 



Hello everyone and welcome back to #alexjostories! I know it has been a long time since I posted here. Various things have happened in the past month. I am back in Canterbury for my third year at Uni. Don’t get that excited or you may because I am currently writing my dissertation which I named: The Jazz Child. I might post some parts of it here. Who knows! Gabi and I were in Barcelona like two weeks ago and it was amazing. The weather was perfect. I will do a post about our holiday there and you’ll see pictures that we took from Barcelona.

P.S. I am currently writing a new dissertation. Don’t know how to call it yet but it’s about a girl that moves from Romania to England and has a profound cultural impact and both emotional and social level. I will keep you guys updated!

I’ll #seeyousoon!


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