I am talking about my best friend…. What did you think? Does it really exist this best friend? No, not anymore. I didn’t murder him. Stop! He left… He left the same way summer leaves the city, the same way Santa Clause leaves his presents under the tree. He left in a second. I remember him each time I hear the songs he told me to listen to. I remember, each time I look at our photos, the way he made me laugh, but I kind of always know that he won’t stay.I know this is better. The distance that I put between us made us as individuals better. At least that is what I think.
Do I miss him? No. I bet he doesn’t miss me. I made mistakes. He did too. I am sorry that everything led up to this but I think that it may be the better way. I wanted to murder him various times but at the end of the day, I think that his thoughts killed him for me. He was… I don’t even know how to describe him in details. I felt like he had much more on his head than he let me know and those thoughts were disturbing to him.
After some time, like a year or so, I saw him today. He didn’t even say hello. I really don’t know what to think of this situation… It kills me that we have become these strangers. Yo, if you will ever have the intention to contact me I want to let you know that I will answer unlike you. I left when things got uncomfortable because I felt like I was already losing you for some of your deepest thoughts. Was I wrong? I will never fucking know because you don’t have the guts to talk to me. Because of you, I will never have the opportunity to understand and be with my mind completely in place. Now it’s raining again, just like a year ago and I feel like somebody is telling me to let you go.
Did I cry? Hell no. I may be disturbed by your behavior and I may suffer inside but I would rather die than know that I let you win in some sort of way. I would rather kill myself before you see a tear fall down my eye. Now, boy listen up, even if you think you will never see me again, we will meet and I will make you feel bad about everything that you have done. I am not sorry that I tried but you will be sorry someday that you didn’t even answer.
All of you might think right now that this is the regular type of a story where two children, boy, and a girl become best friends and because that can’t last forever one of them falls in love, but this was… this was such… I can’t even describe the way I felt while he was next to me. I felt safe and at the same time, I felt like I was the best option for him. Sometimes I wanted to kill him, sometimes I wished to spend more time with him. After all of this story for children, I realized that people do change and I realized that it is impossible to keep people next to you when they don’t want you there. I don’t even care right now. From my point of view, he can do whatever he wishes.
The bottom line is that I wish him the best and I hope that one day he’ll be lucky enough to realize that I gave a damn about him and that things were completely different than the way he was seeing them back then. You guys, I don’t know if you have this type of story in your life but what I want to tell you that even if you have the deepest feelings for that person, boy, girl, whatever you shouldn’t let it destroy your life. There will be someone better and you’ll meet them at the right time, at the right moment. And right there you’ll understand why it didn’t work out with the others around.
Hey there everyone! How are you doing? Enjoying summer already? I was this weekend at the beach and I managed to get some burns so I feel summer in the ‘proper’ way. Haha! Now, as I always do at the end of a new article I tell you my inspiration for it. I wrote the first part of this article like 4 months ago but I was never sure if I should publish it because back then I felt like it was pretty personal. The main start of this article was my experience in a friendship that ended and the rest is pure philosophy and more fiction. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I will see you in the next one. Maybe I will get some of my focus back because right now I feel a little bit lost.
#seeyousoon